You ask the question that makes them explain, instead of the one that supplies your explanation for them to nod at. “What do you mean by that?” and “What is that based on?” are the documented forms — small questions that keep the homeowner's language, meanings, and motives their own.
The short answer
The failure sounds efficient: “So basically you just want the cheapest option that holds up, right?” They nod — it's easier than correcting a salesman — and you've recorded a motive they don't have. Every supplied answer trades accuracy for speed, and the interest comes due at the close, when the decision built on your words collapses because it was never theirs. The same rule governs the objection side: don't assume, don't translate, let them define their own terms.
How it runs
The craft is in the phrasing habits: open stems instead of checklists of your guesses (“what matters most here?” not “is it the money or the timing?”); their last phrase quoted inside your follow-up instead of your paraphrase; and the discipline of letting an answer finish — including its pauses — before shaping the next question from it. When you genuinely don't know what a word means in their mouth, the honest question is the professional one. Homeowners can tell the difference between being understood and being processed, and they move forward with the first.
Go deeper
The homeowner in a Spar round will test your ears the way a real one does. Round 1 is free; the full camp is $29/month. Spar before you knock.